“. . . but David encouraged himself in the Lord.” I Samuel 30:6 (KJV)
It’s a cloudy day and I am alone in my office feeling especially sorry for myself when something says within me, “Ebony, what is wrong with you?” “Snap out of it!” Suddenly, I remember how Blessed I am and realize how many people would love to walk in my shoes. I question why I am so down when I have come so far, gone through so much, and God has been so good to me.
I begin to think about my “God Moments” (those “moments that have transformed every other moment” in my life). I recall the night I was so worried about my son because I had not heard from him in months and he knocked on my door at midnight. I remember the time I was leaving the gym depressed as I drove home, and a little sparrow settled behind my side view mirror and stayed there until I arrived safely home. I remember the time I drove hundreds of miles to see my estranged husband and reconciled with him before his passing, three months later. I remember the day I was so worried as I drove home from bankruptcy court and the license plate on the car in front of me reading, “TRUST HIM!” But most of all, I remember how my miraculous flesh-colored ring (third finger left hand), continually reminds me of God’s favor and presence. How dare I feel sorry for myself in the midst of being so Blessed!
I have discovered times when none can share my heart but God. Times when I need to be reminded that my daily walk is a solitary walk, but by God’s Grace, I never walk alone. Through the “valley and the shadow,” the Lord has promised to always be with me” and to be my “Guide even unto death.” So with the Blessing of each new day, I will say to myself (out loud and unashamed), “Self, GOD loves you beyond measure. Then, I will simply “Be Still and Know that God is God,” and be Grateful. Amen. (When was the last time you gave yourself a good talking to?)