Self–Talk

“. . . but David encouraged himself in the Lord.” I Samuel 30:6 (KJV)

It’s a cloudy day and I am alone in my office feeling especially sorry for myself when something says within me, “Ebony, what is wrong with you?” “Snap out of it!” Suddenly, I remember how Blessed I am and realize how many people would love to walk in my shoes. I question why I am so down when I have come so far, gone through so much, and God has been so good to me.

I begin to think about my “God Moments” (those “moments that have transformed every other moment” in my life). I recall the night I was so worried about my son because I had not heard from him in months and he knocked on my door at midnight. I remember the time I was leaving the gym depressed as I drove home, and a little sparrow settled behind my side view mirror and stayed there until I arrived safely home. I remember the time I drove hundreds of miles to see my estranged husband and reconciled with him before his passing, three months later. I remember the day I was so worried as I drove home from bankruptcy court and the license plate on the car in front of me reading, “TRUST HIM!” But most of all, I remember how my miraculous flesh-colored ring (third finger left hand), continually reminds me of God’s favor and presence. How dare I feel sorry for myself in the midst of being so Blessed!

I have discovered times when none can share my heart but God. Times when I need to be reminded that my daily walk is a solitary walk, but by God’s Grace, I never walk alone. Through the “valley and the shadow,” the Lord has promised to always be with me” and to be my “Guide even unto death.” So with the Blessing of each new day, I will say to myself (out loud and unashamed), “Self, GOD loves you beyond measure. Then, I will simply “Be Still and Know that God is God,” and be Grateful. Amen. (When was the last time you gave yourself a good talking to?)

Stuff and Things

“Then he (Jesus) said to them, “. . . a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”  Luke 12:15 (NIV)

God has a way of reminding us how Blessed we are.  He allows us to accumulate what I call, “stuff and things,” to see whether we will prize them over our relationship with Him and to remind us that we are merely stewards over “every good and perfect gift that ultimately comes from the Lord.”

This parable the Lord relates in Luke 12:16-21 clearly shows how easily we take God’s goodness for granted.  A  man who is already rich, is further Blessed with an uncommonly plentiful harvest of fruit to the point he feels he has no place to put them all.  Rather than share his Blessing with others, he decides to pull down his older smaller barns and to build larger ones to accommodate this great yield of fruit.  He convinces himself that this harvest is so great he will not have to worry about planting again for many years to come and that all he has to do is sit back, relax, and enjoy life from now on.  Then comes the reality check in verses 20-21:  “But God said to him, “You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you.  Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?” This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”

The aim of life is appreciation. There is no sense in not appreciating things; and there is no sense in having more of them, if you have less appreciation of them. — G.K. Chesterton

I have been truly Blessed all my life.  The Blessings of God have flowed freely. But I discovered, if you are not careful when “things” come too easily, you can take them and their source for granted.  That’s where I found myself, especially, these past few years — full and forgetful about how good God has already been to me and mine.  So, tests and challenges came fast and furiously — one after the other to remind me.  And, it was not until I was on the verge of losing everything including my health and sanity that I cried unto the Lord, please help me.  And just as with the Psalmist, He inclined His ear and heard me.  I immediately re-ordered my priorities and placed God first again in my life, and strangely enough “stuff and things” are not as important. Better still,  I have found complete satisfaction in my relationship with God and those I love.

What I have tried to say is, at the end of the day, there are some truths we must live to learn.  I learned never to place anything or anyone above my love for the Lord.   Even more, I was reminded, that while I may no longer be rich according to the world’s standards with “stuff and things,” I have always been Blessed and highly favored by a  GOOD GOD who is GOOD ALL OF THE TIME!